buffy9x15
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
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TEASER
FADE IN:
1 EXT. WOODS - NIGHT 1
Just within the confines of a long stretching tree line, is a
small, makeshift campsite, complete with a large, blazing
fire. The distant glow of lights puts us a few miles past the
city limits.
As we slowly move in on the seemingly vacant site, we come to
rest on a small, green pup tent as it rattles in the breeze,
shadows dancing across its surface.
The wind dies down and we can tell it wasn't the breeze that
was rattling the tent, as it continues to creep oddly about
in uneasy, sporadic gestures.
As the wind picks up again with a long, brawny gust, a sealed
plastic bag of potato chips is thrust from a nearby log and
into the open fire and after several seconds, bursts with a
thundering POP.
A mere moment within the bag's explosion, the tent seems to
implode as it falls inward. The fallen tent jumps along the
ground as a zipper is being loudly undone.
After a few moments of silence, a head of short, brown hair
sheepishly emerges from the ball of material, followed
directly by a set of squinting eye lids that scour the
grounds.
VOICE
(relieved)
It was just a bag of chips!
The guy, THOMAS, begins working himself out of the collapsed
tent and stands half naked as he stretches overworked
muscles.
Another head slowly works its way from within the dilapidated
shelter and comes to reveal a scantily clad blonde, DEBORAH,
who immediately begins brushing her hair.
DEBORAH
Thank god! I thought it might have
been one of those llamas or
something.
THOMAS
(dumbfounded)
Llamas?
She nods her head as Thomas stares on in dismay.
DEBORAH
(annoyed)
What?
THOMAS
(smiling)
Nothing. I just- Thank god that it
wasn't... llamas.
Thomas continues his forced smile for a moment as he begins
trying to fish the bag of potato chips from the fire with a
sizable stick.
As he does so, however, a loud CRACK echoes throughout the
woods. Thomas and Deborah snap around in unison, but even
with the glow from the fire, there's nothing to be seen.
DEBORAH
(whispering)
What the hell was that?!
Though he appears more unnerved by the situation than does
his girlfriend, Thomas takes the lead and begins walking
slowly in the direction of the noise, holding the stick as
though it was a baseball bat.
As he walks cautiously through his dismal surroundings,
stepping as lightly as possible...
A SCREAM bellows out from behind him!
THOMAS
Deborah!
Thomas sprints back towards the camp. As he hurries along, he
sees nothing -- no sign of Deborah.
He stops and looks frantically around the camp, beginning to
show signs of panic.
As he stares on into the darkness, Thomas nearly jumps out of
his skin when a hand lays on his shoulder.
DEBORAH (O.S.)
Did you see it?!
Thomas jumps off the ground as he spins around to see his
girlfriend standing shakily behind him.
THOMAS
(panicked)
See what?!
DEBORAH
The snake!
Thomas stares at her in disbelief for several moments.
THOMAS
(breathing heavily)
A snake?
DEBORAH
Uh huh.
THOMAS
You nearly exploded my heart over a
snake?
DEBORAH
(beat)
It was a really big snake.
Thomas shakes his head before cracking a smile. She is quick
to follow suit and the two begin laughing as they hug one
another.
As Thomas pulls back to steal another kiss, however, the fire
at their back is suddenly snuffed out, leaving them
surrounded by infinite darkness.
DEBORAH (cont'd)
(whispering fearfully)
Thomas? What's going on?
Are we- Before she can finish, she SCREAMS loudly and hastily
disappears from view.
THOMAS
Deborah! Debbie! Oh my God, Debbie!
Thomas breaks into a dead run, but as he looks back, runs
directly into a large, oak tree.
He tries frantically to pull himself from the ground, but all
he's able to do is back himself firmly up against the tree.
He stares in horror as he watches whatever it is come closer.
THOMAS (cont'd)
(nearly crying)
Debbie...
BLACK OUT:
A final SCREAM rings out.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
2 INT. DEMON LAIR - DAY 2
A dark, dungeon stairwell stands empty with just a hint of
sunlight filtering onto one of the top steps.
We pan out to see that the entire room follows suit, a
decaying remnant of medieval times. Dirt floors lie dormant
and assorted weapons hang from the cold stone of the walls.
After a few moments, the sound of faint footsteps cry out to
the silence as they descend the aching stairs, and XANDER
slowly peeks around the bowed corner of the stairwell's
entrance to the unoccupied room.
XANDER
(looking back)
I would say that the coast is
clear, but situations of imminent
doom tend to predictably follow
that line. So instead, I'm going to
go with the time honored, 'come
see.'
Xander cautiously finishes the trek down the few remaining
stairs and scours his surroundings for any signs of life.
Behind him, GILES slowly looms from the stairwell, followed
by the IMMORTAL. They finish their descent of the stairs and
come to stand alongside Xander in the middle of the room.
GILES
I had no idea that such places
still existed in this area.
IMMORTAL
Officially, such places don't exist
at all. It's the blissful ignorance
of the general population that
keeps it that way.
XANDER
So what is it exactly that we're
looking for? Bad, moderate bad, or
big bad?
IMMORTAL
(pointing)
Through that door lies the answer
to your questions.
XANDER
(untrusting)
Yeah...
I kind of like to know what I'm
getting myself into before I go
breaking into places that appear to
be, and most likely are, demon
thresholds. Been through one too
many closed doors, if you know what
I mean.
(beat; smiling)
Funny story, there was this one
time-
GILES
Xander!
XANDER
(sarcastically)
Fine. But if we die, you're going
to wish that you'd heard one more
joke before going to the snooty,
old, English peoples hell!
IMMORTAL
As much as I love a good joke, and
even the occasional saucy limerick,
gentlemen, I'm afraid that time may
be of the essence. Behind that
door, you see, is quite a few lost
little girls that require our
immediate attention.
GILES
Lost little girls?
IMMORTAL
Lost little slayers, to be exact.
XANDER
What?!
GILES
(sternly)
What exactly is going on here?
IMMORTAL
It appears as though an underground
association has been harboring an
assortment of your slayers, for the
purpose of commerce.
XANDER
And again with the cryptic
messages.
GILES
(nods)
They're being sold.
IMMORTAL
Precisely.
GILES
But to who? Or what?
IMMORTAL
I'm not assertively positive. Your
presumptions are as profitable as
mine, Mr. Giles. However-
Xander begins rushing for the door.
XANDER
Then what the hell are we waiting
for?!
The Immortal grabs Xander by the shoulder before he can get
very far.
IMMORTAL
(calmly to Xander)
One moment.
(beat;to Giles)
You must love his enthusiasm.
GILES
(sarcastically)
On a daily basis.
IMMORTAL
We may need these.
He reaches underneath the collar of his shirt and pulls two
swords seemingly out of nowhere to hand to Giles and Xander.
XANDER
Right... thanks.
(beat)
Is that it? I mean, no more 'one
moments'? We can charge in... you
know, guns blazing.. death and
mayhem o' plenty?
IMMORTAL
(stepping aside)
Charge away.
Xander nods and rushes the door. Behind him Giles and the
Immortal follow shortly after.
A loud CRACK rings out as Xander is somehow able to remove
the old and seemingly sturdy door from its hinges using his
shoulder as a battering ram.
IMMORTAL (cont'd)
(to Giles)
He is very passionate about his
work, isn't he?
3 INT. DEMON LAIR - MAIN ROOM 3
As Xander bursts into the room, he takes a quick glance
before smiling sheepishly as he takes in his surroundings.
After a moment's time, Giles and the Immortal come to stand
in the doorway behind him.
GILES
Oh, dear.
We swing around to find that the room is packed with various
demons, as well as a few well dressed humans talking amongst
themselves in small groups, apparently waiting for something -
or someone.
After Xander's hasty intrusion, however, they've all turned
to stare directly at us.
Silence overcomes the room as both parties stare at each
other -- not necessarily knowing what to do.
IMMORTAL
(to Xander)
Your enthusiasm doesn't seem nearly
as curved as it did moments ago.
XANDER
Moments ago I didn't feel like an
eight piece in a bucket!
IMMORTAL
(happily)
Come now. There can't be more than
thirty of them. That's barely ten a
piece!
The Immortal bypasses Xander and runs directly for the group
of demons, before we cut to:
4 EXT. CEMETARY - NIGHT 4
BUFFY is walking casually alongside WILLOW as they 'patrol'
the area. Buffy seems oddly upbeat as Willow walks
apathetically alongside her, staring at the sky and in her
own world.
BUFFY
(adamantly)
I love these boring nights.
WILLOW
(beat)
Me too. It's like we get a break
from maiming things for once and
just talk.
BUFFY
(nodding)
We maim too often. I've been
thinking and since there are so
many slayers now, we should form a
union.
WILLOW
It's possible.
BUFFY
Yeah, huh? We could hold meetings
and get cards. And whenever our
Watchers take vacations to Italy,
we could demand that we go along
too or we'll strike.
WILLOW
Strike what?
BUFFY
Did I not word that right? I seem
to be doing that more and more
these days.
(beat)
Just one more thing a vacation
would solve.
WILLOW
No, no. You'll go on strike... I
get it.
BUFFY
(curiously)
You okay, Will?
WILLOW
Huh? Oh yeah. I'm great. You know
me.
(smiling)
Sunshine... through and through.
Buffy stares back and forces Willow into confession mode.
Willow sighs and gets ready to 'fess up.
WILLOW (cont'd)
Well, if you must know, I'm just
still kind of in awe of the
direction my powers seem to be
taking after the other day.
BUFFY
I know what you mean. I'm still
reeling a bit from the aweage
myself.
WILLOW
I know that it must have been kind
of scary looking from where you
were...
BUFFY
...waiting for my untimely death to
arrive? Willow, trust me, no one is
happier that you sent Jerekov to
Hell more than me. That bludgeoning
thing he was about to do to my head
wasn't something that I was looking
forward to.
WILLOW
I know! See, things seem like
they're finally starting to work
themselves out and now. It's like I
don't even have to worry about
getting all veiny anymore. For the
first time in... forever.
(happily)
It just feels right.
She stops and looks to Buffy.
WILLOW (cont'd)
I'm starting to feel that I'm
senselessly babbling.
BUFFY
(smiling)
Not at all. I'm happy for you...
and for me and the rest of the
world. The less veins you show, the
better for the rest of us.
WILLOW
Have I apologized for the whole
'trying to kill you all thing'
lately?
BUFFY
No. And don't start, because then
I'd have to apologize for all the
times I tried to kill you guys, and
I'm way up on you so we'd be here
for quite a-
Before she can finish her sentence, a loud CRASH rings out
from somewhere nearby. Buffy looks apathetically to Willow.
BUFFY (cont'd)
(pouting)
Great. There goes our boring night.
The girls take off in a dead sprint in that direction. Just
as they round a large mausoleum, however, their dash comes to
a screeching halt as they turn to stare at one another in
disbelief.
BUFFY (cont'd)
Is it just me, or does that look
all too familiar in a very bad way?
Before Willow can answer, she's interrupted by a body being
flung just in front of them.
As the body lands hard against a tree, it DUSTS.
BUFFY (cont'd)
(turning to Willow)
Well, if it's on our side-
WILLOW
I don't think it's on our side!
The girls take a quick step back as the Demon flies into
view.
As we take in the sight before us, a feeling of familiarity
is most definitely present before the fact has time to set
in. They have faced this demon twice before as it emerged
from the Hellmouth.
They girls get safely out of the demon's path by jumping atop
the mausoleum via a couple of headstones that seem like steps
that were put there for the specific purpose. They stare down
at the demon for a moment before looking confidently to one
another.
BUFFY
A little slayer/wiccan combo?
WILLOW
Wouldn't have it any other way.
We watch the girls jump from the rooftop and stay behind for
a moment before we cut to:
5 INT. DEMON LAIR - DAY 5
Demon bodies are flying boldly across the room as the
immortal fights with an unbridled passion and certain degree
of arrogance.
Though he appears to be enjoying himself, passionately, Giles
and Xander seem to be a bit more worried.
As Xander dodges a duo of attacks, he's able to land his
sword into the gut of a tall, scaly demon.
While pulling his weapon from the being's corpse, he ducks
behind a table to catch a quick breath.
Xander lets out a SCREAM as the Immortal taps on his shoulder
from behind. Xander glares at him while trying to catch his
breath.
XANDER
What the hell are you trying to do
to me?!
IMMORTAL
(happily)
I think you may be slightly
confused, mate.
(pointing across the room)
Our opponents are over there.
XANDER
I know that! I was just-
Xander has to duck to escape a swinging sword. As he prepares
to attack, the Immortal hurdles him and goes back into the
fight with renewed vigor.
Xander watches him for several seconds while he jumps over
swinging swords, rolls across the ground, and slices through
his enemies with ease.
XANDER (cont'd)
(in awe)
Now that's something...
Inspired, Xander springs to his feet and re-joins the fight
alongside Giles who ducks an attack and amputates a ferocious
looking demon's arm.
GILES
(short winded)
Nice of you to join us!
XANDER
Sorry about that. I was just a
little...
6 EXT. CEMETARY - NIGHT 6
BUFFY
... pissed off, is what I am!
Buffy and Willow are running frantically through the
cemetary. Buffy's shirt is torn extensively, bearing her
stomach to the world and Willow is running with a limp.
BUFFY (cont'd)
What is this, the third time that
we've fought that thing?
WILLOW
We didn't fight it so much the
first time, as it just left.
BUFFY
And yet here we are... retreating!
I don't retreat.
(beat)
Why are we running again?
Both girls are beginning to breathe heavily as the run is
getting to them.
WILLOW
Because we just got our combined
asses kicked!
BUFFY
One thing I don't understand, while
we enjoying getting the crap kicked
out of us, why didn't you go all
Jerekov on it?
WILLOW
I don't know, it was kind of a spur
of the moment type thing that
happened, and I didn't even know
that we would need it and-
BUFFY
Will, from now on, let's just
assume that we do need it.
WILLOW
Okay.
BUFFY
God, I wish I was in Italy right
now.
We cut from the running girls to:
7 INT. DEMON LAIR 7
Giles and Xander are leaning against the stone wall, looking
somewhat bored and talking amongst themselves.
Giles is examining the magnificent sword that the Immortal
gave him.
GILES
It really is a fine metal.
XANDER
It does have a certain ghastly glow
about it in a 'striking fear into
the hearts of the wicked' type way.
GILES
(beat)
Do you think he needs our help?
Before Xander can offer a response, a demon's body comes
FLYING into view and lands at their feet.
IMMORTAL (O.S.)
You fight like peasants!
XANDER
I think he's doing okay.
The Immortal is faced off against a group of seven demons who
are trying frantically to kill him.
As two of them swing a coordinated attack, he does a high
flying flip over both swords and, in one fluent motion, spins
around and slices through them both.
Before the dust has time to settle on the dirt floor,
however, the other five demons rush him, weapons swinging.
Giles and Xander nervously stand from their leaning positions
as the Immortal is engulfed by the demons to the point where
he is no longer visible and taken to the ground.
As they rush to his aid, however, a loud GROAN is let out and
the Immortal pushes a hoard of dead bodies from atop him,
smiles gleefully, and stands up.
IMMORTAL
That was invigorating!
XANDER
How in the-
IMMORTAL
(smiling)
Don't even try to understand it.
It takes several lifetimes to
achieve, and I think you're a
couple short my friend.
GILES
So, what's the plan?
XANDER
Yeah, and where are the girls?
The Immortal begins walking quickly to a doorway on their
immediate right.
IMMORTAL
This way!
XANDER
Wait.
(pointing to another door)
What if they're through that door?
Maybe we should split up.
IMMORTAL
No need. They're behind this door.
XANDER
How could you possibly know that?
IMMORTAL
Before I killed the last demon, I
tortured him until he gladly told
me all that he knew.
XANDER
You were down there for like three
seconds!!
IMMORTAL
(laughing)
The world is still very much a new
place to you isn't it? You have
much to learn. Unfortunately, we
haven't the time for a private
lesson.
(beat)
There is something through this
door. And that which awaits can
only be undertaken by you. Mr.
Giles and I must wait patiently
until you return.
XANDER
Until I return?!
(to Giles)
Is it just me, or does this plan
seem kind of Xander-centric?
As Xander finishes his question, a loud ROAR lets out from
behind the door, sounding like a crowd applauding graciously.
Xander sighs, and looks reluctantly to the Immortal, who
smiles back encouragingly, before we:
BLACK OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
8 INT. SUMMERS RESIDENCE - LOUNGE - NIGHT 8
The Summers Residence is unusually quite this evening. As we
move through the empty hallways and past the eerily quite
rooms on either side, we finally pick up on a subtle
conversation coming from the lounge.
ANYA (O.S.)
(pouting)
I just don't understand why it
won't come out.
ANYA and MARIE sit across from one another as we've
apparently caught Anya in the midst of an unusually timid
anger tantrum.
ANYA (CONT'D) (cont'd)
I've tried to will it, Marie, but
nothing happens!
MARIE
The baby will come when it's ready,
dear.
(beat)
Perhaps you've made such a great
home for it that the baby is
reluctant to leave?
ANYA
Sometimes I really do think you're
insane. It's mostly the patronizing
that does it.
MARIE
(apologetically)
Pardon. I don't mean to-
ANYA
(happily)
Maybe I could summon one of my
former colleagues and wish it out!
MARIE
(uneasily)
I don't know that I would go that
far. You're just-
ANYA
(rolling her eyes)
You're right. You're right. I'm
sorry.
(beat; thinking)
Perhaps I could just start pushing
really hard. It couldn't be much
more than a bowel movement.
Marie shakes her head as she stares in disbelief at what Anya
is saying.
ANYA (cont'd)
An ill placed bowel movement, no
doubt, but I'm sure the same
principals apply.
(beat; angrily)
Why did I ever let him do this to
me?! They tell you, there is no sex
without consequence, but you don't
really know what they're talking
about. I mean, there are all of
these urges that I couldn't ignore.
There was Xander with his biceps...
and his plump behind.
(sincerely)
I couldn't help it Marie.
(quickly)
It was like a trap! Entrapment is
exactly what it was, and now I'm
fifty pounds heavier. I'll probably
never get my body back and Xander
will never want me again! I'll
never have sex for the rest of my
life. Nobody wants a fat,
unattractive woman with excess
baggage! My life is over. This-
MARIE
Anya!
Anya stops abruptly and stares curiously at Marie.
MARIE (cont'd)
You need to breathe.
Anya looks around quickly and suddenly realizes that she
hasn't taken a breath in some time. She slowly begins to
exhale as Marie calms her.
MARIE (cont'd)
(reassuringly)
Your life isn't over... it's just
beginning! You've got a husband
that loves you, for better or
worse.
ANYA
But if worse comes to worst?
MARIE
You're missing the point, Anya.
Xander loves you blindly. Your
appearance isn't what drives him to
love you. It's your soul that he is
attracted to. I believe with all of
my heart that the two of you are
soul mates.
ANYA
(surprised)
Really?
MARIE
Of course. Don't you believe in the
sort of thing?
ANYA
It's hard to say, really. I've
reigned vengeance upon many men who
claimed to be a woman's soul mate
only to be found in bed with her
sister or her mother... or both.
Marie stares oddly at Anya for a moment before continuing.
MARIE
Do you believe that Xander loves
you?
ANYA
Yes.
MARIE
Then you've got to trust him and
more importantly than that, trust
in him.
ANYA
(reluctantly)
I suppose you're right.
MARIE
I absolutely am. We should all be
so lucky as to have such an
honorable man that is so innately
in love with us.
Anya appears comforted by Marie's words, as we cut to:
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