buffy9x15
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9 INT. DEMON LAIR - DAY 9
We sweep back in on the emptied room that has been
transformed into a makeshift grave for deceased demons.
Carcasses and body parts lie scattered throughout the room
and flies have already began swarming over them.
XANDER (O.S.)
This is insane!
We finally come to rest on Xander, Giles, and the Immortal
standing near the same doorway that they had been earlier,
except this time, Xander is dressed in an unusual fashion. He
almost resembles a pirate with the loose fitting, ragged
clothes that hang uneasily from his body.
XANDER (cont'd)
I still don't understand why I have
to be the one to infiltrate the
demon hoard!
(to Giles)
Do you want to trade places?
GILES
(back stepping)
We can't. The plan is very precise
as to who must do the, ah,
infiltrating.
XANDER
The plan was made like five minutes
ago! It can be changed!
IMMORTAL
I'm afraid that it is imperative
that you go ahead, Alexander. My
face is well known by demons
throughout...
(smiling)
...what with me being the scourge
of the underworld and all. And Mr.
Giles is too old.
GILES
Beg your pardon?!
IMMORTAL
(to Xander)
You're the only one of us who can
save these girls, my friend. This
is why I need you both to assist me
in this mission!
XANDER
(beat)
Fine! But I'd better come back with
every limb that I left with. I'll
be damned if I'll be turned into
the one thing I fear the most in
the world!
GILES
(confused)
What?
XANDER
(confessing)
An amputee.
Giles stares in dismay at Xander.
XANDER (cont'd)
Don't even try to tell me that they
don't scare the bejesus out of you.
GILES
(agitated)
Just go!
Xander sighs, turns, and knocks on the door as Giles and the
Immortal duck back into the other room, out of sight.
The cliched sliding panel opens from the other side of the
solid oak door, to reveal a pair of ghastly eyes staring back
at us and a strikingly deep voice to accompany it.
VOICE
What's the password?
XANDER
Please?
The panel closes. Xander looks around for a moment before
knocking on the door again. The panel opens shortly
thereafter.
XANDER (cont'd)
I was only kidding. You see, I do
that just to trick people into
thinking that I'm not evil. Which I
most obviously am.
(beat)
What else would I be doing at an
evil auction to buy captured
slayers?
The panel closes again and Xander seems discouraged. As he
reaches up to knock again, however, the door lets out a long
CREAK as it swings open.
XANDER (cont'd)
(to himself)
That was a long password.
The door opens as we meet the owner of the devilish eyes. The
demon stands nearly a foot taller than Xander and bears a
giant sword.
Xander stand uneasily for a moment, not knowing whether to
run or enter.
DEMON
I hope you brought plenty of money,
human.
XANDER
(patting his side)
I didn't break out the big satchel
for nothing.
The demon smirks as he steps aside to allow Xander passage.
As he steps past the demon, Xander's expression quickly
changes from a forced smile to a sickened realization. Before
him, dozens of demons are huddled up in front of a makeshift
stage.
On that stage is the monstrosity that has Xander left
speechless. A large, burly demon stands holding a chain in
each hand. Behind him, attached to the chains, are two young
teenage GIRLS that look underfed and severely beaten.
AUCTIONEER
Alright, my fellow bastards! What
we've got here are the last of the
Slayer batch that have been selling
like sauteed Siamese kittens.
A deep row of demon boos ring out.
AUCTIONEER (O.S.) (cont'd)
I know! I know... we're working on
getting more, but this is the last
of them you'll find in the
supermarket for some time. So, if
you're going to get your hands on a
100% prime slab of Slayer... you'd
better get off your ass and start
bidding!
Xander still has yet to move, horrified by what he's seeing,
but he hasn't time to think of a plan when the auctioneer
starts going a mile a minute.
AUCTIONEER (cont'd)
Let's start the bidding out at one
thousand should we?
XANDER
(to a nearby demon)
Is he talking about dollars?!
A large demon with black, scaly skin roars at Xander before
turning back to the stage.
AUCTIONEER
Four thousand from the ugly bugger
in the front! Do I hear... oh, five
thousand! Thank you sir. Do I hear
any more?
The auctioneer looks around cautiously.
AUCTIONEER (cont'd)
There isn't a beast here willing to
pay more than five thousand for the
blood of a slayer?
XANDER
(beat; yelling)
Twenty-five thousand for the pair.
AUCTIONEER
(excitedly)
Sold! To the badly dressed human
for twenty-five thousand dollars!
The entire crowd turns around to stare grimly at Xander who
is only able to manage his patented "Oh, hamburgers!" grin.
10 INT. SUMMERS RESIDENCE - NIGHT 10
Anya and Marie are still sitting in the same positions that
they were when we left them. Anya seems much more upbeat this
time as she lays out across the chair as best she can.
ANYA
(cheerfully)
I am lucky, aren't I?
MARIE
Extremely.
ANYA
A child isn't a curse, it's a
blessing... and Xander loves me no
matter what. What would I do
without you, Marie?
MARIE
I shudder to imagine.
ANYA
(beat)
What I don't understand, though, is
that you speak so passionately
about these things... and yet, you
don't have them.
MARIE
Anya-
ANYA
I mean, you're with Max. Or at
least, you've been having a lot of
sex with him. We all know that by
now.
(apathetically)
Woo hoo, but why settle for someone
when you can have what you want...
everything that I have. Well, not
everything. I may be considerate,
but I told Xander a long time ago
that he could never have sex with
another woman.
MARIE
(weary)
I'm trying desperately to find a
point to this story...
ANYA
What I'm trying to tell you is
something that everyone else knows,
but for some reason you're oddly
blind to. Gi-
Before Anya can get out the words, the front door FLIES open
and Willow rushes in.
MARIE
Willow, are you alright?!
WILLOW
(breathing heavily)
We... help! Buffy-
ANYA
(to Willow)
We're trying to have a conversation
here!
Marie frowns at Anya quickly before jumping to her feet and
hurrying over to Willow.
MARIE
What happened?!
WILLOW
We got... we saw the demon from...
the Hellmouth and-
ANYA
(annoyingly)
Which one? There are quite a few
down there, you know!
MARIE
Where's Buffy?
WILLOW
We agreed to retreat, but Buffy got
mad and went back after it. It's
strong! We need your help. Buffy
needs our help.
Marie grabs her coat from the coat rack.
MARIE
Let's not waste any more time than
necessary, then!
They hurry out the door as Anya sits idly in the lounge.
ANYA
It's really rude to interrupt
someone's conversation!
From Anya's pout, we cut back to:
11 INT. DEMON LAIR - DAY 11
Xander stands uneasily as the auctioneer pulls the two
conceded slayers toward him. Their chains CLANG noisily along
the ground as they stare downward, on trek to their new
owner.
AUCTIONEER
I present you with your new
property, sir.
XANDER
(nervously)
Thank you?
(beat; to the Slayers)
So, uh, hi there, girls. What are
your names?
AUCTIONEER
Names? You humans worry too much
with naming things. Your lives are
too short to waste so much time on
something so irrelevant!
Xander stares angrily at him, and the Auctioneer nods.
AUCTIONEER (cont'd)
But I'm sure they've each got one.
(to Slayers)
Slaves! What are your names?
The first girl, KRISTIN, dark-skinned with unruly black hair,
just stares at Xander, too weak to even speak.
The closest girl, SOFIA, stares disdainfully as she wearily
raises her head to look at Xander with her long, brown hair
hanging unevenly across her face.
SOFIA
(British accent)
Up yours!
AUCTIONEER
Interesting choice. Her parents
must have had issues.
(beat)
Now if you don't mind Mr...
Xander realizes that he's waiting for a name. After curiously
looking around the room for any help, he mouths off the first
name to come to mind.
XANDER
... Spock.
AUCTIONEER
Mr. Spock, there is the small
manner of payment.
XANDER
Huh? Oh, payment. You mean the
money!
AUCTIONEER
(unamused)
Yes.
XANDER
(reaching to his side)
Let me just reach into my trusty
satchel here and- Wait a minute!
It's empty!
The auctioneer stares at Xander -- unimpressed.
XANDER (cont'd)
(nervously)
No big deal. I'll just get my...
(yelling towards the door)
... friends to go home and get my
wallet to pay for the Slayers I
just purchased!
AUCTIONEER
(angrily)
You're telling me you don't have
the money?
XANDER
Of course not! What I'm telling you
is...
Xander sweats for another moment, before the door BURSTS open
as the Immortal charges in, sword swinging, followed by Giles
who follows suit with the swinging swords.
XANDER (cont'd)
... you're all about to go back to
Hell!
Xander throws a huge RIGHT HOOK and quickly grabs the chains
from his hand as the demon lands hard upon the ground.
Xander smiles boldly at the girls in an effort to calm them
before offering a few words.
XANDER (cont'd)
Hello ladies, I'm Xander Harris and
I'll be your hero for the evening.
Xander ushers the girls ahead of him and in between swinging
weapons as they run for the door. The auctioneer quickly sits
up from the ground to yell out orders.
AUCTIONEER
Kill them! But keep the s-
Before he can finish the word, a sword swings quickly through
the air and his head is dislodged from his body. The Immortal
steps across his body and continues his assault on the hoard.
IMMORTAL
Don't think they caught the tail
end of that one, friend!
He jumps upon the stage and easily kills two demons with one
fluent swing of his sword. A third, he slices through just as
an arrow is released from his bow.
The arrow whizzes past Xander and STICKS in the wall just by
his head. Xander quickly looks back to the stage to see the
falling demon.
He sees that the Immortal is being rushed by the crowd. The
Immortal notices that Xander is about to come back to help,
but calls out against it.
IMMORTAL (cont'd)
Just go! Get the girls out of here!
As soon as he gets the words out, he dives off the stage into
the middle of the pack. Demons start to hit the floor with
speed and Xander stares on for a moment.
XANDER
(in awe)
My God, that man is amazing...
As he is admiring the immortal's skills, however, an axe
barely misses his head en route to getting stuck in the door.
XANDER (cont'd)
(screaming)
Ah!
Without thinking, merely reacting, Xander throws a massive
UPPERCUT that lands to the demon's huge cranium that had
swung the sword.
The demon falls to the ground as Xander forces a smile to the
girls.
XANDER (cont'd)
Shall we?
The girls, still distrusting, almost reluctantly follow him
from the room.
As they round the corner and fade from view, a demon's body
lands hard against the wall.
Within moment's of it hitting said wall, the Immortal FLIES
on screen and shoves his sword through its stomach.
We cut from the mayhem to:
BLACK OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
12 EXT. SUMMERS RESIDENCE 12
As Marie and Willow run out from the house, they run straight
into Buffy. Marie looks shocked as she takes note of Buffy's
ripped clothes and cuts.
BUFFY
(breathless)
That thing can really move quick to
be so damn big!
MARIE
Are you alright?
BUFFY
(nods her head)
I'm just really, really pissed off
now.
MARIE
Why?
BUFFY
How would you feel if you got
outran by a two ton demon? As soon
as Giles gets back and we go over
the details of the union, we've got
to get back to training properly.
This is getting ridiculous!
MARIE
Union?
BUFFY
Long story.
WILLOW
(to Marie)
So much for that road trip.
(beat; to Buffy)
I take it that you did a little
better, you know, with the ass
kicking?
BUFFY
Strangely enough, no. Just when I
came across the demon and was
preparing for said ass kicking, it
ran off mid-pun.
WILLOW
It must have been a really good
pun.
BUFFY
It had potential.
As the team hurries off screen, we cut back to:
13 INT. HOSPITAL - EVENING 13
Xander sits impatiently in a small chair in the lobby of an
expensive-looking hospital as he nervously shakes his leg to
and fro.
GILES (O.S.)
How are they?
As Xander sees Giles and the Immortal walking speedily across
the lobby, he quickly bounces from the chair and comes to
meet them in the middle of the room.
XANDER
(worried)
They don't know yet. They're both
severely malnourished and one of
them had some internal bleeding.
GILES
(quickly)
Where's the doctor?
DOCTOR (O.S.)
(Italian accent)
Mr. Harris?
All three men whip around and rush toward the doctor, who
takes a nervous half step back as the men come to stop within
inches of him.
GILES
How are the girls?
DOCTOR
They are... I'm sorry. Are any of
you actually related to the girls?
Because we're not supposed to give
out detailed information,
otherwise.
XANDER
Uh-
GILES
Of course we are. They are my
nieces.
DOCTOR
They're sisters?
GILES
(unsure)
Yes!
(grabbing Xander)
And this is their cousin, my son,
Alexander.
(motioning to Immortal)
And this is my brother...
(thinking)
... Bartholomew, who would also be
their uncle.
The doctor stares at the men -- obviously not buying into the
deception.
DOCTOR
Right...
(looking at a chart)
And what are the names of your
nieces?
GILES
(quickly)
Jessica and Diane.
DOCTOR
(suspicious)
Says here that their names are
Sofia and Kristin.
GILES
(angrily)
Those are their middle names, you
insufferable twit! Now either you
tell me how my nieces are doing, or
I'll arrange a law suit on you that
will leave this hospital wishing
for a natural disaster, simply so
it can pay my salary, let alone
your own!
The Doctor nearly cowers down as he stares fearfully at
Giles.
DOCTOR
They... they're-
(calming himself)
The first girl, Jessica, is going
to pull through. She's strong.
Diane, I'm afraid, wasn't as
fortunate. She's sustained heavy
injuries to multiple vital organs.
(beat; hesitantly)
I don't think that she's going to
make it, Mr. Harris.
Giles exchanges saddened looks with Xander and the three men
are convincingly portraying the role of a mourning family as
they take in the news.
DOCTOR (cont'd)
I'm sorry. You should probably go
see her right now, because you may
not get another chance.
The doctor nods uneasily and apologetically before walking
briskly from sight. The men exchange one more downtrodden
look before reluctantly agreeing.
Xander begins walking slowly down the hallway as Giles and
the Immortal walk wearily behind him.
14 INT. HOSPITAL - ICU 14
Xander pokes his head into the room to see Kristin lying
peacefully in a typical, size too small hospital bed. If not
for the sporadic beep of a heart monitor, one might already
be led to assume the worst. Breathing can scarcely be
detected by the uneven, occasional inflations of the chest.
Xander walks hesitantly into the room as he takes a deep
breath. He leans restlessly against the wall across from the
bed as Giles comes to stand next to the girl, with the
Immortal on the other side.
GILES
(lightly)
Kristin?
The girl's eyes slowly flutter for a moment before opening to
curiously take in the scene.
KRISTIN
(weakly)
You're one of the guys that rescued
me.
GILES
(forcing a smile)
Yes. My name is Rupert Giles. I'm a
Watcher.
The girl wearily lifts her head from the bed and looks around
the room to see Xander and the Immortal as well.
KRISTIN
And you were there, and you-
The girl laughs at her joke before wincing and grabbing her
side. The guys all look to one another, not in the laughing
mood.
KRISTIN (cont'd)
Come on, 'The Wizard Of Oz'? No?
You guys are way too serious.
(beat)
I'm dying, aren't I?
GILES
(uneasily)
Of course not. Everything's going
to be fine.
KRISTIN
That's what they always say when
you're dying. I've seen 'ER.' I
know how this works.
Kristin holds her eyes closed tight for a long beat as she is
apparently fighting off pain.
KRISTIN (cont'd)
How's Sofia?
GILES
She's going to be fine.
KRISTIN
Really 'going to be fine,' or the
patronizing load of crap you're
filling me with?
GILES
(forcing a smile)
The first one.
KRISTIN
That's good. She's a good kid.
GILES
Did you two know each other?
KRISTIN
Not until we became cell mates.
There were six other girls there
when I got there, but...
GILES
Do you have any idea where any of
the girls were taken?
KRISTIN
They're most likely 'going to be
fine' already. You're a Watcher,
work it out. We weren't being sold
as novelty items.
GILES
How did they- How were you
abducted?
KRISTIN
Trove of demons, assorted weapons.
I would have taken them if it
wasn't for that thing... what's it
called? Oh yeah, reality.
GILES
(smiling)
You're in surprisingly good spirits
for someone who is...
KRISTIN
(nonchalantly)
Dying?
GILES
(reluctantly)
Yes.
KRISTIN
Like the world needs another
whining teenager with a undeserving
sense of entitlement. We've all got
to die some time.
The room stands quiet for several moments.
KRISTIN (cont'd)
Speaking of which... I don't mean
to be rude, but could you guys
leave?
All three men look surprisingly shocked.
KRISTIN (cont'd)
It's just... I don't want to die in
a room with a bunch of strangers.
It feels like I should be saying
something all the time to break the
awkward silence, and I'd just
really like some alone time for
self reflection before I go to...
wherever I'm going to go.
GILES
(surprised)
Of course.
KRISTIN
You'll call my parents?
GILES
Yes.
Giles, Xander, and the Immortal all exchange mournful looks
before we cut to:
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